What is the solution to this problem of epidemic proportions? We must all gain a greater awareness of what we are actually saying.
Even the nicest people speak in ways they shouldn't when they are in a bad mood. The unseen scars of hurtful words cause pain and anguish over and over again.Īsk any marriage counselor and you will hear of the mutual damage and pain caused to husbands and wives by the painful statements that were said out of frustration and anger. These feelings are the breeding ground of comments that hurt and inflict pain.Īsk any counselor or therapist and you will hear of the great damage caused to children who were insulted by their parents and teachers, siblings and peers, friends and neighbors. But everyone gets frustrated, even angry at times. Very few people are truly mean and sadistic. There are many forms of subtle negative statements. It's so easy to make counterproductive comments and ask non-constructive questions. Most people aren't totally aware of the great harm they cause when they make destructive and demoralizing statements and when they hurt others with offensive and disrespectful speech. For the same reason, the worst crime is to rob someone of self-esteem and lower their self-image. The highest level of kindness is to build someone's self-image. When you insult someone and cause distress with your words, you are striking against the dignity of the other person. The harm and damage of insults and putdowns can last for a lifetime. Words, once said, can never be taken back.
The Talmud states that it is a worse crime to cause pain with words than to cheat another person financially. It is a great misuse of this awesome gift to cause other people pain with your words. What kind of a human you will be depends largely on how you utilize the greatest gifts the Creator gave you: Your ability to think and speak.Įvery time you speak to another person you have a choice to make: What should I say to this person right now and how should I say it?Ī wise and kind choice of words will elevate you and enable the person you are speaking with to feel good in the present and will help build his self-image.
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